Parent Appreciation

I always thought I would have a daughter, and I did have her first. Then I had a son. Though I've had him for more than six years now, I am constantly surprised who he is. He's a joyful ball of energy. More energy than I know what to do with sometimes. Sometimes I get impatient with his loud exuberance. Sometimes we get mad at each other for not understanding the other or listening well enough.

But then he's in the kitchen in front of me with his playdate asking for hot cocoa. And they don't just ask -- they are literally bouncing up and down like they're on springs and saying, "Please! Please! Please!" as they bounce. (This is pre-sugar, mind you).

And then it's bedtime, and Aaron wants me to snuggle with him, and tell him a story in the dark, and half the time he'll give me a big hug and say, "You're my best mom!" Last week he said to me, "Thank you for everything you do, Mom."

I was shocked. I couldn't even believe I was hearing that. Sophie, who is more like me and I understand more, has never said a thing like that, even if she has thought it (which I like to imagine!). I have to remember Aaron's words in the moments I don't feel appreciated. Because I am.

Uni-Tasking and Cats

Everyone is always talking about multi-tasking, as if it is a goal for us all to survive in today's frenetic world. But I'm tired of multi-tasking. I keep finding myself in the garage or my room, or most often, in front of the computer, not remembering what the heck I went there to do! I want to uni-task, to focus on ONE thing and do it well, and finish it!

I would also enjoy not living by a list. Wouldn't it be nice to have stuff done and then live the day? I looked out the window a while ago and saw one of the neighborhood cats wandering around. I'd like to be that cat, living in the moment, living through the senses, being outside.

Therefore I will eat breakfast, then go for a stroll, then dive into my projects one at a time. I have two and a half hours before Kindergarten pick-up.

Ta!

Drugstore Dreams

Sometimes I enjoy trips to the drugstore -- today I stopped off to pick up a prescription -- by myself without the kids pleading for things from the shelves. I was wearing designer jeans and a new cute top my sister gave me for my birthday, and a cool new necklace my mother-in-law gave me for my birthday, and a cute cap I gave myself for my birthday, and there's music from the 60's playing -- X and Y -- and I start singing along because no one else is in the aisle. It sounds totally dorky but I felt the music flowing through me and I didn't care, and I didn't feel at all dorky. And I wandered through the aisles and picked out a a fresh colorful box of Crayola crayons, some new pens, because I'm always out, some mechanical pencils, because they always disappear, too, some letter and number stickers for the kids' art projects, some general house supplies I think of as I stroll the aisles. And all the stuff I get to look at and consider.

I'm a sucker for the miracle item of the moment -- the "Ped Egg" that will keep your feet smooth and callous free -- without making a mess! The lip balm that will keep our lips smooth and soft. The toe separator that keeps your feet healthy (but doesn't actually fit your feet unless you have really big feet). The promise of so many things. I love the promise, and I can fork out $9.99 for a promise, a dream, even when I know it will dissolve into the everyday and probably unsatisfactory, but a dream is a dream. A small dream offers a moment of possibility, which in its own way, is priceless.

50th Post

This is my 50th post! Kind of an anniversary.

What is it about lists? I just opened a fresh new notebook and declared it for writing only - not for lists and miscellany. I drew a bold box around that declaration. Then I proceeded to make a few lists: goals for the year, summer plans, lessons for the kids...does life exist in the lists? Or are the lists everything preventing life?

Oh, that's a dumb question. Lists disappoint me. They are everything that hasn't been done yet. There is no point listing what's already been done, is there? Unless it's as reference for a current list.

Lists feel like hypnosis to me. Even if I never do all the things on the list, they've been acknowledged as existing ideas. I'm ready to start something new. Okay, I don't really expect the pages to stay pristine. But please let them hold something that matters.

Goodbye, Flower

We went back to Bunker Hill Preschool this week to pay our respects to Flower Sweetie Hill, the class guinea pig, who visited our house a few times, and inspired Aaron to eat lettuce. Aaron was very sad when he learned she had died over the holiday break, and got up out of bed that night to make her a card.

It was our first visit back since he began Kindergarten. Aaron was excited to impart knowledge to the Pre-k'ers, though most of them were busy playing. We went up to the playground to see the new and improved sandbox which is now HUGE and wraps around the gazebo. He hopped onto his favorite double trike fire engine he spent all of last year speeding around the track with, accompanied by one or another of his high-energy friends. He did one lap, then said, "Hey, Mom, this is too small!" We went back in to impart more knowledge and he read the signs on the walls. His hand-made cards were already tacked to the bulletin board over where Flower's cage used to sit. "Mom, all the kids are so little! said Aaron. " I stood in the center of the block room and looked out the windows onto the trees and missed the place.

Happy Birthday, Michelle Obama and Me!

I found out yesterday while reading the New York Times that Michelle Obama and I share a birthday -- same day, same year: January 17th, 1964. The NYT article was about fashion, and M.O.'s influence on it. I was thinking, it's a good thing they're not writing that about me -- there would be little to say! "She wears nice fleece pullovers and cordoroys and sneakers. Except the days she wears that old, worn-out fleece and yoga pants. She takes her influence from L.L. Bean and occasionally steps it up a notch to Nordstrom's or Title Nine or even a boutique every couple of years or so..."

Jon said if I was on my way to being first lady, I would have people who would shop and put my wardrobe together for me. Then he apologized that I married the wrong person. I said it was okay. Then we went to see "Slumdog Millionaire" and after that I finished reading the very long, very amazing book "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle," both raw, sad and beautiful. When I went to sleep, I dreamed the protaganists were the same person.

Bullies, Forgers & Thieves

Labels aren't everything. I got to the end of the day yesterday -- Thursday -- and realized the following:

1) Aaron was sent to the office for pushing a kid down.
2) Sophie forged Jon's name on the bottom of her reading log.
3) We got the the car after leaving Children's Place yesterday, and I realized Aaron was carrying a pair of pajamas we hadn't paid for.

So, am I raising bullies, forgers and thieves?

Nah! I felt good to realize these are all teachable moments -- perfect opportunities for parenting. None of them were done with malice. Aaron was frustrated because the special day class joins their class for activities, and the boy he pushed makes noises instead of talking and Aaron lost patience and wanted his personal space back. After the holiday break, they're all going to get practice in how to work together and respect differences. (Planned before the incident). Great training for life, where someone is always in your face, or facing different challenges, or you are, or anything else.

Sophie wanted to turn her homework in complete. She'd forgotten to have one of us sign. We insisted she write her teacher an apology note and let her know we'd talked about forgery and she wouldn't do it again.

And of course I'll have to trek back to the store with Aaron and pay for those pajamas.

All in all, a great learning week! And once again, I am grateful for the training I received during my preschool co-op years so that I can automatically view these moments as opportunities, not problems or just bad behavior.